To Protect My Family
by Mealyna
Summary: The Dovahkiin, Rivaine, doesn't want children. Her husband is determined to find out why. Adventure, and angst ensue.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello I'm Mea. This is my first Skyrim fanfiction although I've dabbled with plots since getting it when it came out. None of 'em made it though. And I'm not 100% on this one either. But I love the Hearthfire DLC so this is what prompted that.**

**Anyway; Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim nor any characters except Rivaine and even then barely. **

**Please enjoy.**

* * *

**To Protect My Family**

"You know, love, you never did answer me."

Rivaine looked up from the book she was now engrossed in. Her husband sat next to her in the only other comfortable chair in her small Breezehome home. She gave him a confused look. He was talking crazy. Again. In the past week he hadn't asked a question that she hadn't given an answer to. Questions like, "Will you be home for dinner tonight, or am I eating and sleeping alone?" "Can you please not dump your armor by the door, love? It clutters the place." "Can you take my old axe up to Eorland? It's getting rusty." All mundane, married dialogue, although that last one had landed a playful smack to his arm. It had gotten repetitive, but with her excuses for putting off facing Delphine dwindling, she cherished and relished every moment.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, dear." She said slowly looking about the house. Had she accidentally left something out-of-place?

Vilkas rose from his seat and came to a kneel before her. He stroked her bare calve lovingly. His touch sent a shiver down her spine. "Children, Rivaine. I want to have children with you."

Oh! _That._ "No."

He drew back his hand and stood tall. Glaring down at her, much like when they had first met, he crossed his arms. He was clearly upset but Rivaine was Dragonborn, Nord, and a red-head. That potent combination made her three times more stubborn. She met his fierce grey eyes with her own calm blue. He eventually broke first, his hot-headedness getting the better of him.

"Why not? I love you, you love me. We have the room, the coin. Our beastblood is no more. Why are you opposed to this?"

Flashes of hot fire in her face, the sound of a children's laughter turned to screams echoed in her head. She stood abruptly, snapping her book shut, and bumping into him. She tried to turn from him but he seized her arm in a firm grip. "Vilkas, let. Go."

"Not until I'm satisfied with an answer, wife."

She whipped her head around in anger and, not realizing what she was doing, shouted, "FUS!"

He stumbled backward and relinquished his hold on her. She ran past him in his disoriented state and exited the house. Thankful she had purchased a home within sprinting distance of the city's exit, she ran, fear and flashbacks overwhelming her.

* * *

_The day was warm. Rivaine sat outside the small hut and ran a hand through the hair of the three-year old next to her. She had loudly protested being married at sixteen. Her father, deaf to her protests, had accepted the older suitors bid for her hand, and she found herself bound to a man who viewed her only as a baby making machine and cared very little for her prowess with the bow. However the vile old warrior gave her one good thing. The strawberry blonde toddler sitting next to her, winding purple mountain flowers together with a look of utmost concentration on her face. Fondly, Rivaine kissed the crown of her daughter's head._

_A horn trumpeted, signaling the return of the hunters. Rivaine made a face. Mila looked up at her excitedly. "Papa?" She asked._

_Rivaine nodded grimly, and the little one gave a squeal of delight. Not even a minute later her husband appeared. Mila ran to her father and he swooped her up in a bear hug, while at the same time tossing a bag of meat at Rivaine. "Make this edible," he grunted at her and sat down to play with and regale his hunting tales to his daughter._

_Gritting her teeth she made her way into the hut and over to the fire pit. She had just finished seasoning and spearing the meat on the spit when her husband lifted the flap back and entered. "We must speak."_

_"Then speak." She said shortly._

_The old warrior ran a hand through his hair. "You have yet to give me an heir."_

_"I gave you Mila!" She protested loudly, rounding on him. He scowled and crossed his arms._

_"A girl is hardly fitting of a warrior of my legacy. I need a boy."_

_Rivaine was furious. How dare he suggest that beautiful strawberry blonde girl wasn't good enough. Without uttering a word to the man Rivaine stormed out of the hut and gathered her daughter. She strode away into the small village and to her father's hut._

_"Mama, where are we going?"_

* * *

It was dark before she realized she was at her small plot of land just outside of Falkreath. Her haze lifting she sat down on a boulder, shivering. That flashback had been powerful, disturbing. She hadn't thought of her life before Helgen since right before her marriage, and even then she had thought she had made peace with it. "Apparently not." She breathed.

"My thane?" A voice called out and Rivaine looked up to see Lydia rushing over to her. "Is everything alright?" Tears filled Rivaine's eyes at the question.

"No, Lydia, I don't think I am." She mumbled and turned away from her long time friend and companion.

* * *

Vilkas tossed back another tankard of mead. He was sitting on one of the benches at Jorvasker, watching as he brothers and sisters in arms sang and drank and fought. The image of Rivaine, her red hair flying around from her shoulders as she danced merrily to some song only she seemed to hear, filled his mind. The thought filled him with a fondness that was soon replaced by anger. He could forgive her the Thu'um, she was Dovahkiin after all, but why did she not want to have a child? Did she not love him as much as she claimed? And then she had run from him. He sighed.

"What's wrong, Brother?" Farkas came to rest beside him. "You've been scowling all night."

Vilkas thought a moment. "It's my wife." He finally admitted.

"Is she having an affair?"

Vilkas balked at the thought. What if she was? Was that why she didn't want a child? To keep her body shape to please another lover? "I don't know." Vilkas finally said. "She doesn't want children."

His twin was silent a few moments, thinking. Farkas looked up eventually and swallowed some of his own mead. "Perhaps she has had a child before coming to us."

Vilkas frowned. "But that would mean she's another man's wife."

Farkas shrugged. "I do not know, Brother. But I do know Rivaine loves you. She told me so." Seeming very confident in his own words Farkas stood and wandered off to speak with the others, leaving Vilkas to stew and glare into his own cup.


	2. Chapter 2

**Mea here. Here's the second chapter. Like I said I'm not 100% sure what I wanted in this. Happy Halloween.**

**Anyway; Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim nor any characters except Rivaine and even then barely. **

**Please enjoy.**

* * *

**To Protect My Family**

Rivaine stayed on her plot of land for three days. She worked hard on building the small one room cabin into a bigger home for both her steward and housecarl. She had managed to add a main hall and had Lydia order furnishings for it. She sat cross legged on the double bed in what now could be called the foyer. Wiping the grime from her brow she sighed. Lydia made a disgusted noise and Rivaine looked at her pleasantly.

"That's where we sleep when you aren't here, you know." The 'we' Lydia had been referring to was herself and another housecarl by the name of Rayya. Rayya hadn't been around Rivaine as long as Lydia had been, but Rivaine trusted the older woman. Unfortunately, Rayya's inexperience with Rivaine often brought Rayya and Lydia to blows.

"You can't speak to the thane that way!" The dark skinned woman protested from her spot in a chair by the fire pit. Rivaine waved her hand in dismissal.

"It's fine Rayya." She said idly, but then smirked. "Although I had no _idea_ you and Lydia were like _that._"

Lydia glared at her while Rayya flushed and flailed. Both started adamantly denying what Rivaine had proposed and Rivaine just laughed, enjoying the uncomfortable position she had put her housecarl and steward in. In the past three days after her fight with and flee from Vilkas, this easy comradierie she had with the two women was both refreshing and comforting. They had not pushed her on her reasons for suddenly appearing, they had not argued with her on not having a traditional family. Rivaine found herself relaxing as they had worked on the house by day and told stories and drank mead by night. It was like when she had started out with the Companions of Jorvaskr all over again.

* * *

_The mead hall was especially cheery tonight. Another shard of Wuuthrad had been located and successfully acquired. The companions sang gaily and were swapping stories of older battles; some of them only partially made up, others very obviously exaggerated. Rivaine was sure the bear Ria had killed wasn't 'as large as the Jarl's keep' and 'as nasty as a dragon.' For one thing the Keep was huuge and Rivaine doubted very much her shield-sister had met a dragon. Nothing was nastier than a pissed off dragon._

_Dragons..._

_"You look upset." Rivaine looked up from rubbing her arm. Farkas loomed over her, two mugs of frothing mead in his hands._

_Ignoring his observation she reached for one. "One of those are for me right?" She asked, grinning cheekily._

_He smiled slowly and stepped back, just out of reach. "Not until you tell me what you were frowning about."_

_"Memories." She said evasively and snatched at one of the mugs clutched in one of Faraks' massive fists. He just easily stepped aside laughing._

_"Not enough Sister."_

_"Yet sadly," She spun quick enough to surprise him and managed to snag one of the mugs, "it's the truth." And with that she took a sip of mead and smiled. Astonished, Farkas gaped at her before bursting out in laughter._

_"You are certainly a worthy Sheild-sister."_

_Grinning she took another swig and cast a glance to where she just knew Vilkas was watching. She smacked her lips and blew a kiss. He glared at her, obviously disgusted and angered, before turning to Kodlak and engaging the old man in conversation. Rivaine laughed happily and Farkas lead her to the center of the room._

_"Let's hear it for our new Sheild sister! May her bow never falter and her sword arm never break!"_

_The chorus of 'hear hear!' brought a smile to her lips._

* * *

"And anyway, Rivaine, even if I was so inclined the last I'd look for is an old Redgaurd."

Rivaine snapped her head up in time to see Rayya effectively knock Lydia off her stool. "Who's old, milk drinker?" Rayya growled. Rivaine smiled as the two started bickering anew. Maybe things would be ok after all.

* * *

Vilkas stayed in the mead hall for three days. He didn't want to sleep in the same home as his wife when she wasn't there. Or if she was he didn't want to see her until his blood had cooled. He had even developed a regimine. Get up, post available work, test whatever milk drinker thought themselves worthy of the companions, contemplate sending his wife a letter, crumbling the paper, then spend the day getting drunk enough to where his heart didn't hurt so badly. None one had questioned him on it except Aela.

"You're acting like a child."

He glanced up at her and frowned. Aela's hair was as red as his wife's. Aela was a master with the bow, as was his wife. He stared hard at the woman and found she was glaring equally back. He huffed and stared back into his mug. Aela had none of his wife's softness; none of Rivaine's easy smile or stern yet loving concern. All the qualities he was sure would make her a good mother.

"Go away."

"Not until you go after her. If it were me-"

"It isn't you. Now go away."

Aela was about to respond but the doors to the mead hall crashed open. An old man, grizzled and greying, stood before them. His one good eye scanned the hall, double taking on Aela. Apparently not finding what he was searching for, he gnashed his teeth.

"Where is she?"

Torvar got up and stumbled over to the man. "Listen, we don't-" The old man struck him and he fell.

"I'll ask one more time." The old man grabbed his great sword. "Where is Rivaine?"


	3. Chapter 3

**You guys, I can't read some of the reviews. I realize English may not be the first language for some but please make a little effort or post in your native language. I'll figure it out.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skyrim nor any characters except Rivaine and even then barely. **

**Please enjoy.**

* * *

**To Protect My Family**

Vilkas could swear the hall went silent. For a moment the usually noisy mead hall had no sound. All at once there was a great clang of metal as weapons were drawn. Vilkas stepped forward, blood heating even further at the sight of this man who'd dare to threaten his wife, _his mate._ The old man glared back at them all, hardly batting an eye as he evaluated first Vilkas' shield siblings, then Vilkas himself. The fact that the old warrior leaned back, relaxed his guard, and smirked- actually smirked- spoke volumes of what he thought of Vilkas.

Gritting his teeth Vilkas held his ebony greatsword Rivaine had given him. He brandished it at the older male, the threat clear and he felt the rest of Jorvaskr fall into place behind him. "Who are you?" He demanded.

The old man didn't even bat an eye. In fact after his initial dramatic entrance, he seemed almost bored. "It is clear you would protect your Harbinger." He commented idly, his voice harsh. "Fear not, I merely wish to speak with her."

"You didn't answer the question."

The old man's good eye swiveled and focused on Vilkas. He grunted, clearly unimpressed. "And who are you to demand that information from me, boy?"

Vilkas tightened his hold on his weapon, failing miserably at keeping his anger from rising. "I am acting second in command for the Harbinger and Rivaine's husband." He bit out and was proud of himself for not threatening the man outright.

The other's eyebrows rose and his eye widened. "Her husband?" He asked, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. "She remarried?"

"Remarried?" Vilkas felt himself lower his sword, the righteous anger in his gut turning back into insecurity making it clench and his blood run cold. "What do you mean?"

"Where is she?"

"I don't kn-"

"Her property in Falkreath." Aela answered for him. "I went out hunting the other day and smelled her there on the wind."

Vilkas sheathed his weapon and everyone followed suit. "Take us there."

* * *

Rivaine sat cross legged on her front step watching the birds fly over head. The movers had arrived with her furniture and she was staying out of the way. She had been working in the gardens earlier and the smell of the earth, damp and musty and familiar, clung to her fingertips. She smiled and leaned back as the sun warmed her face. She could hear the clang of metal on metal and vaguely wondered what Lydia was crafting this time. Or was it Rayya this time? She wasn't sure.

"What are you making?" She called out idly, her eyes slipping closed.

"Just sharpening my sword, my thane." It was Rayya then. "Am I disturbing you ma'am?"

"No. Just thinking."

She felt Lydia plop down next to her. Hearing the crunch of an apple, Rivaine grinned and automatically held her hand out. Something smooth was pressed into her hand and she cracked an eye open to inspect the green apple Lydia had given her. Finding no faults with it she took a bite.

"What has got you so lost in thought?" Lydia asked nudging her with her elbow.

"I miss my family." Rivaine admitted.

"Your husband?" Rayya had come to sit on Rivaine's other side. Rivaine frowned. Did she mean her husband? It was true she loved Vilkas dearly, he had that annoying ability to make her heart pound like a green maiden, but no. She missed...

* * *

_The sound of the pounding drums and twittering flutes filled the air. The enormous bon fire crackled mirthfully as her clan danced and laughed and ate around it. Rivaine smiled lovingly as Mila chased another child around with sticks. Her daughter enjoyed the harvest festival almost as much as Rivaine did. Rivaine laughed as a dancer stumbled in drunken stupor. Frowned as she caught sight of her scarred husband as he roared with laughter as his hunting buddies told exaggerated tales. Her scowl deepened as she watched him slap a young maiden on the rump. The man was shameless._

_"What has you so upset tonight, my daughter?" Rivaine turned around to see her father. She smiled at his grizzled appearance. Her father was the greatest warrior of the clan, and the chieftain of their clan. "Tonight is supposed to be a joyous occasion."_

_Rivaine ran to hug the old warrior. "Papa!" She murmured nuzzling him. "You are back from meeting the Jarl!"_

_He chuckled and patted her head. Rivaine was a tall woman to begin with, but her father was easily taller by a head. Chuckling he said, "Nothing could keep me away from my family tonight. I'm just sorry I wasn't here sooner."_

_She smiled up into his eye. "You are here, that is enough."_

_"Where is my granddaughter?" Rivaine pointed her out. Mila was currently listening to her father tell stories with a group of boys. Rivaine's father guided to her to his side. "Come, let us visit your mother."_

_Taking her father's arm, they walked away from the bonfire and past huts gathered here and there. The farther they walked from the celebration the more quiet and still the night became. Rivaine enjoyed these precious moments with her father. They were far and few in between and she treasured everyone, knowing, with her father's age and the battles and hunts he insisted on leading his men into, they could be his last. She observed the old man out of the corner of her eye. His hair was thinning an patchy. His face was battle scarred and lined with age. His arms were thick and corded with muscle. His left eye was missing. She loved him anyway._

_They came to a grassy clearing with a single headstone. Her mother's name was inscribed there. Rivaine knelt before it and her father followed suit. "Spanna," was all her father said and they lapsed into an easy silence. The wind, calm and sweet smelling, brushed the hair from her shoulders and silently she sent her thoughts to her mother and asked the gods for her protection in the afterlife. Wordlessly, she knew her father was doing the same. She stared at the starry sky and before she knew she was doing it, she was begging Akatosh - whom she believed her patron god- for true happiness._

_Loud screams echoed from the village and an eerie cry echoed. Rivaine and her father leaped to their feet and started sprinting. They reached the outskirts and froze. Their clansmen were scurrying about, women scooping up their children and trying to flee burning huts and hunters aiming their bows into the sky. Another roar made Rivaine look up into the sky. Her blood ran cold. An enormous black dragon hung there, its dark wings unfurled and beating at the sky effortlessly. As it snarled down at them and fear crept into her bones, Rivaine's father grabbed her arm tightly. She looked to him. _

_His stern warrior face gave her comfort. "Rivaine, now isn't the time to be afraid. Find Mila. Run, hide!" The dragon swooped overhead. "Do this for me Rivaine, keep safe." And then he was off into the battle, roaring his own cries._

_Rivaine turned and ran through the village searching for her daughter. "Mama!" Rivaine turned and nearly cried in relief. Mila was running up to her about a yard away. She was about to start running toward her daughter when an enormous black talon curled itself around her daughter. Her daughter screamed and Rivaine suddenly wished very much she had her bow. But she didn't. She had to watch as the dragon hoisted Mila high into the night sky and fling her down, like a doll. Rivaine couldn't hear the crack, but she felt it._

_Someone was screaming close to her ear. It took her a moment to realize it was her. Everything stilled for a moment and then she was running toward the limp corpse of her daughter. Glassy eyes looked up at her, still frozen in shock and fear. Shaking she lowered the eyelids of her daughter, as the dragon roared overhead. Kissing Mila's forehead one final time, she rose and fled into the trees._

* * *

"Hey!" Fingers snapped in Rivaine's face and she blinked. Lydia was looking at her with some degree of concern. "Are you ok? You were gone for a moment there and then you started crying."

Wet tracks were making their way down her cheeks and she swiped at them. "Just a sad memory." She mumbled and turned away.


End file.
